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Personality changes in abroad

When you are in abroad, your personality changes completely. The insecurity drives you crazy. You became too sensible, you don't even recognize yourself anymore. Therefore, a relationship in abroad with a new partner is extremely difficult. They don't get your problems, they look at you as you were some crazy chick. Which is of course partly true since you have to face your problems on your own and sometimes you don't even know which problems you have to face. You have so many rough patches you haven't had in your life so many. Of course, everybody has problems not just the people living in abroad but still. It feels like so hard. This is the reason why companies demand studying abroad as a requirement because when you are abroad you became tougher and tougher and you can organize the things probably better than somebody who lives at home. To sum up, in abroad you need people around you who got you, who understand that you are crazy sometimes, you act like crazy if you have a fear what to do, how to do it. Every single day is a struggle but it is worth since there are a lot of very very beautiful memories.
1.4.15 16:10


Two years in Germany

The first aspect we have to clear is what my motivation was to study abroad. Literally, I had everything in my home country (Hungary) but I wanted more. I wanted to try out how it is like to start everything from zero, new city, new university, new friends.
The first semester was the hardest since everything was new. Fortunately, I had luck with the students in my faculty. We met before the semester even started thank to our facebook group and since then we spent a lot of time together.
The flat situation is very dramatic in Germany. Obviously, I needed a condo where I can live alone in Order to be able to concentrate on my studies. After a while, I found one. With the best tenant of all times. Not only they helped me to move in but helped me throughout the whole time until I lived there.
The lectures were a bit strange, I was Used to an interactive Education with presentations and Team work,unfortunately, it was here no option.
Of course, only the best things should stay here but it is not always so cool. Everybody has here the Family and friends from Kindergarten but I don't, I have myself and That Way I need to achieve things. I only can hope that somebody helps if not I am all alone.
Okay, then 3 semester are gone 1 semester left with my thesis. So, I thought I use it and started an Internship at a MNE in Stuttgart. So again I needed an apartment, however, this time it was a piece of Cake compared to what Happened in Würzburg since I had my flat there.
The Internship started amazing, a Lot of cool collegues, we went out together, spent a lot of time together. And then stress came into the picture in form of final exams, thesis and other personal issues. So now I am traumatized and I don't know how to deal with the my problems.
The thesis was so hard and yet again I need to find another flat, this time again without a permanent Appartement.
Not only, that I need to face to usual graduated problems like job search but also a flat what I need. Everything is so unsecure, I have no idea how to get my shit together. Cleary,This is the hardest time of my life.My Friends are everywhere but where I'm, so, I am all alone with my thoughts which are driving me crazy.

Obviously, for so much trauma, I was
not prepared.

What to do next? I don't know.
I only know that I am outta control. And I am alone.
31.3.15 15:50

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